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In My Trunk…

When I was at the gym today I got to thinking about my ass.

I have a pretty good ass. Always have.

insertselfportraithere

Sure there may be a few more dimples and such than I had in my 20’s but it’s still nice.

When I was about nine, my cousin and I were these skinny little girls with these  badonkadonks. Back then we were a little ashamed when people would call us “bubble butts” and my uncle would roll us up and bounce us on the couch saying that our “bubble butts” would spring us right up. Nice.

By the time we were in high school our “bubble butts” became one of our most coveted assets. No pun intended?

Fast forward to my early twenties, and allow me to be all over the place for a second. When I was in college [I went to community college for 2 years local] I worked at my gym in the chiropractic office. Dr. Neil and I were buds. He was great. I looked at him as a father/older brother figure. I swear Mondays were our busiest days because our patients would come in hear what trouble Laury got into over the weekend.

FacebookExisted10yrsago

 

What does this have to do with A. my ass and B. working out? I will tell you.

When I was at the gym today I was sore. Like really really sore. I must have killed it this week. Everything hurts…my booty especially. I did a Back, biceps and treadmill run Monday [<—gearing up for the 5k]. Tuesday was a HIIT workout and chest/ triceps. I mean, I can’t lift my arms right now. It’s all about the music. Notorious B.I.G. station on Pandora had me killing it.

Yesterday I did a leg workout and another 30 minute treadmill run/walk.

It got me thinking about the days I used to spend 1- 1/2 hours on my legs alone and not be able to walk to 2 days. Seriously, I perfected this move when sitting on the toilet where my hands went down first, it was weird but it worked. I would squat with the 45 pound bar and add a few 10 pound plates to each side. Proceed to leg press sled with a 45 and a 35 plate on each side, and move on to all the other leg exercises you can think of.

I would talk to other fitness freaks that would laugh because they knew the exact move I was talking about—oh and my clients also know all about it. Poor things.

ASS-SORE-FROM-SQUATS-GONNA-DEADLIFT-TODAY

(source)

My ass got big. Like, you could sit a vase on top of it, it was like a shelf.

One weekend I went out with a bunch of friends from my gym.  Did I mention was blonde then too? Like really blonde. Platinum, Not that’s it’s relevant but I’ll add to your visual.

So…. I had these black pants. This was like 2001 so there were sparkles involved. They were always so flattering on. I noticed that these pants, which used to be real loose fitting and fall off of my waste were a little more snug than usual after not wearing them for a few months.

It was that shelf booty.

I wore a short belly shirt and these black pants out in Old City with my blonde hair and no jacket in the dead of winter {because it would take away from my swagger}. It was one of the aerobics instructors birthday so we had a table, champagne and strawberries, shots, the whole nine. I don’t remember much but all of a sudden, I leaned forward to talk across the table to a friend and I heard:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

A slit right down the back of my sparkly black pants. Belly shirt, no jacket, nothing but well, use your imagination.

Luckily one of the guys who loved nothing more than to show off gave me a button down shirt for my waist. It was a savior for me, even though I was more concerned that I wasn’t going to look cute anymore. Not that my entire behind was hanging out. Priorities people.

He walked around the city in a black wife beater {<—what are they normally called? I hate that term.} for the rest of the night. It was like 25 degrees out. Fun times.

My boss loooooved hearing that story on Monday. I didn’t tell him either. I tried my best to avoid the subject but people couldn’t wait to share. Bitches.

On that night, I vowed never to squat heavy again.

arnold-squats

source

So when I was super sore from my workouts this week, it reminded me of those times. I also noticed that in all my weight loss post baby, my behind had gotten kind of small. Don’t worry. In my upcoming progress while breastfeeding post I will include a few douchy photos in the bathroom mirror to prove it.

Here was my leg/core workout this week:

always check with your doctor before changing your exercise program

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Tabata Warm-up

8 rounds of 20 second intervals with 10 second rest

full burpees

high knee jump rope or high knees

legs:

circuit training 3 sets of each, minimal rest between sets

walking lunges holding two 10lb kettle bells

deep squats on upside down bosu

one leg deadlift, 10lb in each hand

-bench lift with leg kickback [step up on bench with one leg, kick your other leg back squeezing your glutes on the way up]

then I superset with the following to end the workout:

-abductor & adductor machine–3 sets of each

core:

straight arm side plank and reach [reach arm under your rib and lift up, stay still with hips]

decline ab bench twist <—instead of arms behind ears I bounced medicine ball side to side

-roll up on decline bench [like a full sit up]

balance ball roll-out

[/print_this]

I day 2 of C25k a run/walk for 30 minutes. Then spent some time on the foam roller and other stretching then called it a day.

This workout was nothing compared to what I’d do back in the day; but my results are twice as good with all the HIIT and variety…and balanced diet. I’m also 10 years older so that to me is impressive.

I’ll share my upper body workouts soon..bosu push-ups were involved. I think that’s what got me!

Oh…and I have a thousand more stories where that came from. Now that I’m a mother I better keep some of the other ones to myself Winking smile

 

Any embarrassing stories you want to share with me?

What’s the craziest maneuver you had to do after delayed onset muscle soreness set in?

One time, years ago a new client reamed me a new one because he couldn’t shampoo or comb his hair. I laughed. He thanked me later down the line.

Chat soon!

Scary read–especially for anyone that eats any type of protein bar or feeds their baby organic formula!

Brown Rice Syrup & Hidden Arsenic

discuss

xo

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25 Comments

  • Reply Britt

    Ive been killing myself in workouts lately because te baby weight WON’T BUDGE. I love your post baby workout updates because it seemed like you had an issue with dropping the weight whie breastfeeding… I’m feeling hopeless after working so so hard without seeing any results. I’m looking forward to the six month mark because I think that’s when you said you started to see more weight loss too. I’m hoping for ANY weight loss. I’ve been focusing on HIIT cardio more than weights, is this the right thing to do for fat loss ? Thanks laury !!

    February 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm
    • Reply laury

      Aw Britt! My best advice is to just try and be patient! Yes…I struggled and my body held onto weight for the first 6 months..I was working so so so hard too. I don’t know if I should have relaxed more, thinking maybe the hard workouts made my body rebel in a way? Or did my hard work catch up. I am planning on getting my post our next week though! It gets better!

      February 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm
  • Reply Kat

    I got a bosu for my birthday and am BEYOND stoked about it 🙂 I used it yesterday and I agree, the pushups on that thing are KILLER. I can do 15 regular ones no problem, but with the bosu I was dying at 10! I love when my body is feeling it. Thats how I know its just about pushing it in my mind. Its ALL mental!

    February 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm
    • Reply laury

      Yes, bosu push ups are the best! I do them with the round part down and flat part up. I grip the outer edges and go real deep. They are tough!

      February 16, 2012 at 10:54 pm
  • Reply thehealthyapron

    HAHAHA omg, so that has never happened to me but wow! You are lucky someone was there to “cover your ass” shall we say? lol too funny.

    I know the exact toilet seat move you are referring. I would honestly try to avoid going to the bathroom whenever I got too sore. It’s a killer! lol

    I’m off to read your linked article! Cant wait to see pics of the hair!

    February 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm
    • Reply laury

      yes, I was. pretty bad huh!?

      February 16, 2012 at 10:56 pm
  • Reply Morgan

    That post had me laughing the whole way through, the visuals I had going on were pretty good, especially about the sparkly pants. I believe I may have owned a few things of that nature, being that were from the same age group (30 on my b-day this year). Oh, and I used to be platinum blonde too! ha ha. My husband actually way prefers me as a brunette, and we have been together since we were 16, so he has suffered (i’m sure) through my many phases I had being that I was a hairdresser. 😀 Now, in Newport Beach, the prime of Orange County, I sometimes feel like the only brunette in a sea of blonde bombshells, which makes me like my hair darker that much more. I know I have plenty of blackmail stories to share! ha ha ha. Oh, and I went through a kind of “bodybuilding” type of work out phase a long time ago where I folllowed all the work outs from the hard core competitors and would spend an hour on just one or two body parts. It was crazy and the same type of squatiing stuff you posted about, followed by every other leg move I could think of following that. Talk about overkill. I am all about keeping my workouts (which might I add I am not exactly doing at all at the moment, im just in survival mode this pregnancy! lol) short and sweet and effective. Love HIIT and I try to never spend more than an hour ever at the gym. I can’t wait to be able to work out normally again. To be able to sweat hard will feel so good!
    So are you just trimming or getting a new cut? I remember you saying that you were growing it out again ( I think?).

    February 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm
    • Reply laury

      Ha! I bet we would have had a lot of fun together 10 years ago. Heck, we’d have fun together now but we would have to behave more that we’re moms 😉

      HIIT is where it’s at!

      I just SKIMMED the ends and brought up the layers and added some low lights to the drab color. I want to grow it out! The shore cut was cute for a minute but I miss my long hair!!

      Hope you have fun with hubby on your little getaway xoxo

      February 16, 2012 at 10:57 pm
  • Reply Lisa

    Haha….that’s a great story! Reminds me of my “youth.” It’s funny…back in the day, I really thought I was mature and classy. Ha. But, hey it makes for funny stories!

    One time I was so sore I couldn’t stand up or sit down. I had my boyfriend at the time help me—we had to go stay with his dad/step-mom at a cabin in the woods for a weekend, and after the 4 hour car ride, I was so stiff I couldn’t get out of the car. I started to get worried that I did something really bad! Getting onto and off of the toilet was a circus act!

    I’ve definitely changed my workouts over the years…my goals are so different, and I love HIIT!

    February 16, 2012 at 5:36 pm
    • Reply laury

      I thought so too but I was neither mature nor classy hahaha yikes.

      That is a horrible story! I have had times like that where I couldn’t walk to do anything. It sucks! being in a car makes is a thousand times worse though–as you know–the best thing for DOMS is to keep moving and active recovery! I can only imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      February 16, 2012 at 10:59 pm
  • Reply Heidi

    Great story! I just ordered a Bosu and can’t wait to use it.

    When I was senior in high school I took a semester of weightlifting. We had a sheet of exercises and a certain number of reps of each exercise that had to be filled in before the end of each marking period. I NEVER worked out as a teen, so I spent my time in that class admiring the boys as they lifted. I waited until the last day of the marking period to do all of the exercises on my sheet. I was so sore the next day that I had to miss school. I think it took me a good week to recover from that!

    February 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm
    • Reply laury

      Yea that is rough!!!

      Enjoy your bosu! Hands down one of my favorite pieces of equipment!

      February 16, 2012 at 11:00 pm
  • Reply Pure2raw twins

    oh man sorry girl, i have some embarrassing stories. i remember in high school slipping down the stairs in a SKIRT!!! oh yea flashed everyone, haha

    and lori and i have been called bubble butts!! the once thing we got going for us. we lack in the boob department. ha

    February 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm
    • Reply laury

      Oh, Michelle! That’s so embarrassing!!!!! Eeek! At least we can laugh at ourselves now, right???

      Oh yes..my cousin and I were always lacking in the boob department. Now I am not, but that’s what happens when you have babies 😉

      February 16, 2012 at 11:01 pm
  • Reply The Delicate Place

    omg! hahahaha i am dying laughing right now. i love that story but i bet you were so mortified! hmmmmm embarrassing stories. oh the one time i was day drinking with a current bf and ended up passing out before 7pm. and i was sick prior to that oooph. never again. lesson learned oh to be 21 again.

    last gym move i did was a time challenge to do 300 squats. i could hardly walk down the stairs!

    February 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm
    • Reply laury

      I was, but at the same time the champagne made it better. The people at the gym the next day told me I was walking around saying “crack is whack” as I talked about my pants splitting. Hott mess indeed.

      300 squats! I saw that on BR I think? I assume…wow….sounds so killer!!!!!

      February 16, 2012 at 11:03 pm
  • Reply Maria@healthydiaries

    Oh Laury, this hit home and made me laugh so hard. I think it’s pretty evident that Lisa and I have plenty “junk in da trunk”. We were also called bubble butts since a young age. We hatted it back then, but grew to appreciate our curves. I had my jeans split after my first date with my hubby, but thank goodness it was just as I got home!

    If I wasn’t so damn sore, I would be doing this workout tmw. I am definitely pinning it so I will have it when I need it. 🙂

    February 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm
    • Reply laury

      Ha! It must be an Italian thing! It was my cousin on my dads side (Italian) too funny!
      OMG!!!!!! You’re lucky they didn’t split on the date! That’s great…I’m glad I’m not the only one!!!!!

      February 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm
  • Reply k

    Haha! This was an awesome post! I am definitely in a great place with my butt. It was only in my late twenties that I realized that people are willing to literally go under the knife to boost their behinds. I was more than happy to just bust mine for many years! Without a doubt, THE sorest I have ever been was from pushing the prowler. We used to do 30m sprint repeats with a 45lb plate on the prowler and if even if you managed not to burst a lung, you generally left the session crying 🙂 LOVED IT.

    February 16, 2012 at 11:19 pm
    • Reply laury

      Yea, I can’t believe the butt implant thing! It freaks me out!!! All they need to do it LOTS of heavy squatting 😉 It’s muscle there, unlike boobs where you can’t make them bigger (unless you’re nursing or pregnant and it’s temp).

      Wow…that is freaking intense! I am cracking u “you generally left the session crying. I loved it.” Ha! So great!

      February 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm
  • Reply Jen

    Haha feel yeah, when I was 19, I was getting out of this guys car first date and my pants split so I just walked backwards towards my car to drive home. I laughed the whole ride back home, but thank god I don’t think he even noticed because he never said anything to me in the few years we dated. I used to always say I’m Italian with junk in my trunk, but always loved my curvy ass.

    February 17, 2012 at 1:06 am
    • Reply laury

      OMG! He was probably like..she really digs me she’s not turning around. Ha….luckily guys don’t notice things–although, in the rear you’d think they would notice that 😉

      February 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm
  • Reply Valerie @ FreshMutz

    BAHAHAHAHA! Too funny. My badonk got a longer donkier when I was marathon training.

    My most embarrassing moment? Do I dare admit the time I farted out loud in the fifth grade during poetry hour and then laughed and cried at same time? Guess, I just did. I’m still scarred.

    February 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm
  • Reply Lauren @ Fun, Fit and Fabulous!

    That was the best story I’ve heard in a long time!!! I have deffinitely been so sore it’s hard to wash my hair before! I love it!

    February 18, 2012 at 11:23 am
  • Reply Stefanie @TheNewHealthy

    Haha oh my gosh, that would be so embarrassing! I need a shelf booty! 😉

    February 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm
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