I’ve been for blogging about 3 years now, and I found that when I was pregnant my blog popularity was at an all-time high. I mean, I wasn’t anything compared to some of the big wigs out there, but as Jay-Z would say, “I don’t know how to put this…I’m kind of a big deal.”
You people loved you some pregnant lady bloggers.
Personally I can’t get enough of the pregnant ladies since having a little one of my own –so I don’t blame you.
With that being said my advice to you is if you want to be a popular blogger–get yourself knocked-up!
It’s pretty much why I was so eager to conceive. Naturally. [<–*Cough* Attention whore!]
Okay…maybe motherhood for blog hits is not ideal for everyone. I get it.
So, I did some serious market research on this one. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.
If you want the full-proof method to quadrupling your blog hits, here’s a list of things that are sure to get you there:
1. Get pregnant
2. Post pornographic photos of your oatmeal on a daily basis.
3. Call your significant other by ANYTHING other than their first name. “Hubster” “The Boy” and “Manfriend” are all suitable nicknames. You could also use an acronym or just the first initial. Or mix it up and use an anagram. Be creative. Not for privacy purposes but because people think it’s cute.
4.To make yourself relatable, post a photo of the small cookie you ate after a 10 mile run. Never ever admit to eating more than that, even though you probably did. People are judging you. This way, when you’re called out you can play the “I don’t post everything I eat” card. Kind of like when I eat an entire bar of NibMor chocolate but don’t tell you guys. Whoops.
5. Go gluten-free, dairy-free, raw-vegan and paleo all in the same week. Then write a long post explaining why you are no longer raw, vegan, paleo, dairy or gluten-free. Follow it with a photo a a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and how you ate 1/4 of it.
6. Post lots and lots and lots of toolbag self portraits of yourself. Post-workout or otherwise. The more per post the better. Preferably with an instagram filter, because filters make you look so pretty. I obviously don’t need a filter, but still.
which brings me to my next rule…
7. Two words: “self-timer.” Use it wisely.
8. If your blender costs less than $300. you have no chance.
9. Make sure to comment on AT LEAST 75 blogs per day. Say something like: “OMG! Your oatmeal is giving me a foodgasm!!!!!”
10. “Nut milk,” “nut butter” and chia seeds should all be staples in your diet. In fact, you could probably live off of those three things alone.
What are your tips on becoming a “popular” healthy living blogger? [<also a good tip…always ask questions at the end of your posts!]
If I had to give you a bonus tip I would have to say post at least twice a day. Preferably three times. If you run out of content ideas you could always do a step by step on how to load your dishwasher. Seriously….can someone do that post? I’m not even kidding. I recently learned how to separate my silverware and it changed my life. Had you done a post on this I wouldn’t have felt like such an idiot. Just saying.
Here are some common phrases from established HLBers in case you need further research.